The World Cup is here, and Houston will soon be a full-blown, jersey-clad pressure cooker. I saw it at the VIP Preview for Pitch Live, the former Warehouse Live location. East Downtown is a maze of blocked streets and creeping traffic.
I have no personal grudge against soccer. In fact, I’ve been to Dynamo games and even attended the CONCACAF Gold Cup last year. Those were fun. But the World Cup is a different kind of beast. There’s no escaping it. But there are ways to find some relief if you're just not into it.
MORE FROM JOEY GUERRA: Houston hacks for surviving World Cup madness
Here is your guide to surviving the hype, avoiding some of the crowds and still enjoying the city.
Visit some other museums
Yes, the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston and the Museum of Natural Science are great. They’ll also be teeming with tourists. Check out some of Houston’s more unique places, including the Houston Museum of African American Culture, the Holocaust Museum Houston, and the Health Museum, where you can walk through giant recreations of a human body. The Eternal Gandhi Museum is dedicated to: preserving and promoting Mahatma Gandhi’s legacy of nonviolent conflict resolution.” The Houston Toy Museum features an assortment of rare and vintage toys on display and for sale. A couple of personal favorites? The 1940 Air Terminal Museum and the National Museum of Funeral History.
Go record shopping
Spend a day or two exploring Houston’s vinyl community. Cactus Music is the holy grail among local record stores, offering a large assortment of music and pop culture memorabilia. Memo Record Shop is one of Houston’s oldest and most revered places for Latin music. Check out Sig’s Lagoon, Sound Exchange and Vinal Edge. And you can find dance music and live DJ sets at Cool Heads Prevail.
Immerse yourself in true crime
The ID Channel on HBO has gotten me through many a sleepless night. Where my “Evil Lives Here” people at? My Spotify is also filled with true-crime podcasts: “Going West,” “Casefile,” “They Walk Among Us — UK True Crime” and “True Crime Campfire.” I might have a problem.
See a drag show
There are few things more entertaining than taking a group of friends to their first drag show and watching their reactions. It is hilarious every single time. Plus, you get to see some truly great drag. In Houston, the best places to go are Barcode, South Beach, Michael’s Outpost and Boheme for brunch.
Host a guilty pleasure or soccer movie marathon
Gather all your non-soccer friends for a night of guilty pleasure watching that includes “Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion,” “Spice World,” “Obsessed” with Beyoncé, “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” and one of my all-time faves, “Muriel’s Wedding.”
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If you must stick to a soccer theme, try these:
- “Bend it Like Beckham”: A young Indian girl defies her traditional parents to play soccer
- “She’s the Man”: Amanda Bynes is hilarious as a soccer player who poses a guy to play at school
- “Ladybugs”: Rodney Dangerfield convinces his stepson to disguise himself as a girl to play on a team
- “Switching Goals”: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen Two trade teams by secretly swapping places
- “Shaolin Soccer”: A former Shaolin monk reunites his five brothers, who use their martial arts skills to play soccer
- “Guys and Balls”: After being ousted from a homophobic team, a soccer player assembles an all-gay squad
- “Soccer Mom”: A mom disguises herself as an Italian male soccer star to coach her daughter’s team
Go see a movie, but skip the multiplex
See something at the River Oaks Theater, which offers a mix of first-run, classic and cult films; or at the MFAH, where you can catch a music documentary or a series of soccer-themed films. Rooftop Cinema Club can be fun if it’s not too hot. The same goes for Moonstruck Drive In.
See some live theater
Houston has a rich theater scene, from Broadway national tours to experimental premieres. The next several weeks bring “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” “Moulin Rouge!” and the currently running “Misery” at the Alley Theatre.
Sleep
Seriously, we’re all tired. Traffic is going to be terrible, it’s hot and everything will be crowded.